Hear ye, hear ye, good folks of the world about the terrible regulations we will impose upon you!
1. Thou shall not damage or destroy any furniture and/or property inside of Mayor’s Lodge (doing so will invoke the rage of many gods and also us).
2. There will be no loud music, yelling, chanting or wizardry after 11 PM.
3. If you would for any reason need another pair of sheets and such things, feel free to contact us.
4. If you are an evil overlord with a plan to take over the world, feel free to contact us.
5. If you posses any information about an evil overlord who is currently trying to take over the world, feel free to contact us.
6. If you know any serious web editors, feel free to contact us.
7. For those of you who enjoy a good cigarette, we are aware that it’s a perfect pleasure, so exquisite and yet leaves one unsatisfied (Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey), so feel free to enjoy them in the yard, but not inside the apartment as a sign of respect to our non-smoking guests.
8. Please do not take your pets inside the apartment because regular cleaning after animals isn’t easy and sometimes it’s both hard and ineffective (this rule does not apply to the following pets: Patronum ghosts, Nazgul wyverns, giant spiders (anything smaller than 3 meters is NOT a giant spider) and, of course, a real life Pikachu because who can say no to that?)
9. We sincerely hope that you’re aware that spells such as Crucio, Avada kedavra and Imperio are strictly forbidden. They can and will be used against you if you try to practice them in our apartment (muahaha).
10. You are, of course, forced by all means to enjoy your stay.
Hugs and kisses,